White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
