I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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