Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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