Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
