She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
