I'm really into asian looking animals
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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