Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Pooping to opera.
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