I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
