Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I didn't shave. On purpose
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
