Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
