At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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