I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
