i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he puts the penis in happiness.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
