Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I don't deserve a penis
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
