The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
did you just send me my own nude
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
