As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I am one with the molecules
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
