Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
