i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
