You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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