cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
