Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
