I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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