So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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