Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize