I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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