Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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