Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
my liver is dry heaving
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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