She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
