he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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