i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
