The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
