you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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