Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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