Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize