Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Boobs speak an international language.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize