That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
