so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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