i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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