They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
