my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
