Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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