4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
