It's just like the Real World with babies
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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