Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
