Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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