Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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