Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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