3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
