We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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