Well apparently he's into motor boating.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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