If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
