Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
