Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize