I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
