Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
