Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
