What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
