that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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