You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
