oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
