I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
