So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
