whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
