The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
